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HOW TANDAG (actually Tago) REINVENTED ITSELF
by k_spy


Surigao del Sur being Surigao del Sur, every innovation that comes down its technological block is lapped up hook, line, and sinker by its people. And so when a leading cellular phone company set up shop in Tandag late last year, Tandag reinvented itself.

Tandag’s cell site consists of a 120-ft transmitter and a microwave dish that operates within 30-km radius from the base antenna. Tago is just about 7 kms away from Tandag, but it’s easier to dance on pinhead than make a call from a cell phone. Undaunted, Tagon-ons searched for the elusive signal in nooks and crannies, in trees, and in belfries. And once blessed with “eurekas!,” they turned funny. This one’s for Ripley’s: my neighbor found a good signal in her pigpen, but to make a call she has to be on all fours in front of a trough where a sow slurps swill. Each time she makes a call, she remains motionless lest the signal goes kaput, never mind if piglets run around her and lick parts of her body, tickling her like crazy. After every call, she bathes; she makes at least seven calls a day.

Things go around quickly in Tago that no sooner can one find a good site than everybody troops to it like ants to sugar. And the best signal comes from Pepe. Yes, that part of the town plaza where Rizal stands. And in the spirit of the centennial celebration, what better way is there than to bring the national hero into the mainstream of technological advancement?

Including the 3-ft octagonal base on which the platform stands and the three-rung bleacher to which the base connects, Rizal towers at 12 feet, making him literally beyond reach, that is, until cell phones went en vogue.

A woman who makes a call every night at Rizal’s monument came to be known as the centennial caller. One night, after circling the area searching for some signal to no avail, it must have hit her that up where Pepe was, the signal was good. She reached for the platform, but realized that she was too short for it. She looked around and saw a trash can. She turned it upside down and made it her riser. Holding Rizal by the waist, she checked the signal.

We watched just a stone’s throw away, under the canopy of the narra tree. She dialed the number as the moon hid behind dark clouds. Then she spoke in loud, rapid-fire fashion. But suddenly the rain fell in torrents. She covered her head and attempted to jump, but in time she held back. She put her hand---the one holding the cell phone---under her skirt and to God knew where. Then on her belly, she let herself on the platform’s edge, flailed her feet in a blind effort to locate the trash can below. But she must’ve stepped on the rim because the next thing we saw, she came tumbling down into a bed of thick flowers that lined the narrow pathway. Quickly she collected herself, picked up the cell phone near the trash can and dashed to the Pagoda. Seconds later, a thin voice ripped the night: Araaaaay!!!!

On All Souls Day, a balikbayan discovered yet another site that could pick up a good signal--- at the center of the cemetery where the big cross stands.

One night, someone who must make an urgent call headed to the cemetery after trying all other sites in vain. At the entrance, a sense of foreboding gripped him. He breathed hard and walked slowly, careful not to step on something as he didn’t have a flashlight with him. At the exact site, he switched on his phone: Five bars! He punched in the digits, but before the phone rang, somebody said, “Hello.”

He turned around. No one! He redialed the number. The phone rang, but before the other line could answer, a guttural voice from behind said, “May I know who’s on the line, please?”

In reflex, he ran. But the sound of shuffling leaves made him stop dead on his tracks. He looked up. There, perched on a branch of a balete tree, silhouetted by a crescent moon, was a long haired figure holding something that glowed. He blinked hard and looked again. The figure shifted and turned its back, the better for the caller to see what it was doing----texting!

Scared witless, the caller ran faster than a bat out of hell. And thus ended the Calls from the Crypt.

Now on its seventh month, Tandag’s cell site has yet to bring ease to my cell phone-toting townmates. I couldn’t care less because I’m not Smart enough to own one. But I’d rather that things stay that way because I want the centennial caller to give Rizal nightly company. Besides, us low techs don’t mind watching a bit of hi-tech fun.


(Published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer on 04 April 1998)

K_spy,

thx for posting this article. i remember those days that i have to go up the roof to get a signal, pagka-pait na adto na kinabuhi, usahay magkumbabit pa gayud ako sa kusina sa taas nan bay namo tapos an isa na alima gahawid nan celfone.

kampanaryo_spy wrote: HOW TANDAG (actually Tago) REINVENTED ITSELF
by k_spy


Tago is just about 7 kms away from Tandag, but it’s easier to dance on pinhead than make a call from a cell phone. Undaunted, Tagon-ons searched for the elusive signal in nooks and crannies, in trees, and in belfries. And once blessed with “eurekas!,” they turned funny. This one’s for Ripley’s: my neighbor found a good signal in her pigpen, but to make a call she has to be on all fours in front of a trough where a sow slurps swill. Each time she makes a call, she remains motionless lest the signal goes kaput, never mind if piglets run around her and lick parts of her body, tickling her like crazy. After every call, she bathes; she makes at least seven calls a day.

Things go around quickly in Tago that no sooner can one find a good site than everybody troops to it like ants to sugar. And the best signal comes from Pepe. Yes, that part of the town plaza where Rizal stands. And in the spirit of the centennial celebration, what better way is there than to bring the national hero into the mainstream of technological advancement?

Including the 3-ft octagonal base on which the platform stands and the three-rung bleacher to which the base connects, Rizal towers at 12 feet, making him literally beyond reach, that is, until cell phones went en vogue.

A woman who makes a call every night at Rizal’s monument came to be known as the centennial caller. One night, after circling the area searching for some signal to no avail, it must have hit her that up where Pepe was, the signal was good. She reached for the platform, but realized that she was too short for it. She looked around and saw a trash can. She turned it upside down and made it her riser. Holding Rizal by the waist, she checked the signal.

We watched just a stone’s throw away, under the canopy of the narra tree. She dialed the number as the moon hid behind dark clouds. Then she spoke in loud, rapid-fire fashion. But suddenly the rain fell in torrents. She covered her head and attempted to jump, but in time she held back. She put her hand---the one holding the cell phone---under her skirt and to God knew where. Then on her belly, she let herself on the platform’s edge, flailed her feet in a blind effort to locate the trash can below. But she must’ve stepped on the rim because the next thing we saw, she came tumbling down into a bed of thick flowers that lined the narrow pathway. Quickly she collected herself, picked up the cell phone near the trash can and dashed to the Pagoda. Seconds later, a thin voice ripped the night: Araaaaay!!!!

On All Souls Day, a balikbayan discovered yet another site that could pick up a good signal--- at the center of the cemetery where the big cross stands.

One night, someone who must make an urgent call headed to the cemetery after trying all other sites in vain. At the entrance, a sense of foreboding gripped him. He breathed hard and walked slowly, careful not to step on something as he didn’t have a flashlight with him. At the exact site, he switched on his phone: Five bars! He punched in the digits, but before the phone rang, somebody said, “Hello.”

He turned around. No one! He redialed the number. The phone rang, but before the other line could answer, a guttural voice from behind said, “May I know who’s on the line, please?”

In reflex, he ran. But the sound of shuffling leaves made him stop dead on his tracks. He looked up. There, perched on a branch of a balete tree, silhouetted by a crescent moon, was a long haired figure holding something that glowed. He blinked hard and looked again. The figure shifted and turned its back, the better for the caller to see what it was doing----texting!

Scared witless, the caller ran faster than a bat out of hell. And thus ended the Calls from the Crypt.

Now on its seventh month, Tandag’s cell site has yet to bring ease to my cell phone-toting townmates. I couldn’t care less because I’m not Smart enough to own one. But I’d rather that things stay that way because I want the centennial caller to give Rizal nightly company. Besides, us low techs don’t mind watching a bit of hi-tech fun.


(Published by the Philippine Daily Inquirer on 04 April 1998)

K-Spy,

bwuhahahahahahahahhahahahahah hahahahahhahahahah hahahahhahaha

I LOVE IT !!!!!!!! Anymore where this came from????

sughac wrote:K_spy,

thx for posting this article. i remember those days that i have to go up the roof to get a signal, pagka-pait na adto na kinabuhi, usahay magkumbabit pa gayud ako sa kusina sa taas nan bay namo tapos an isa na alima gahawid nan celfone.

Sug,

Si Sis. Dumdum kaw nan didto kita sa bay (wake) June 1999. Tawag siya sa pamilya sa Cebu abay panawpanaw hanap nan strong signal sus layoi na bayan agi ga trisikul dakan gud pag uli.

sugz,

kadumdum kaw na ikaw an yakanotar sa una na bisan wara pay signal, an mga taga tago magpanaw panaw sa lungsod na gahawid nan cellfone? hahahaha di gayud maapas an tagon-on, amo?

abb,

an dugukunon isab na lugar sa una yaon atbang nan bay ni haydee salas (her house, not her parents'). basta puno permi nan tao 24/7. huna-hunaa na impabutangan gud ni haydee nan taas na ingkudanan haw insugo ako niya na lang-on si mayor na pabutangan nan waiting shed kay sayunan kaw nan bisan udtong tutok may mga utaw sa gayud na manag text.

haw aya ko tipuna inin mga kataw-anan na istorya nan pagsugod nan cellfone technology ngadi sa tago, bagan isa ka libro.

kampanaryo_spy wrote:sugz,

kadumdum kaw na ikaw an yakanotar sa una na bisan wara pay signal, an mga taga tago magpanaw panaw sa lungsod na gahawid nan cellfone? hahahaha di gayud maapas an tagon-on, amo?

bwahahahaha! kriminali gayud an mga tagon-on sinankaw wara pay cellsite yanagbitbit na dayun nan celfon. naman siguro inin smart hastan globe yagka puliki dayun pagsangon nan cell site.

k-spy, yakahibawo ba kaw inin kataw-anan na istorya about celfon sa tago nan bag-o pa an sms technology. amo inin line na ya pur-ak ako nan abay katawa; "HELLO TEXT BA INI?"

K_spy,

hamoki nato sa funny experiences nan celfone sa tago but its only you that can put things together and make a prolific story out of it.by the way, claire told me this morning that she enjoyed browsing the website but she wondered why the balikotsa is missing in the tagon-on delicacies.

Abb,

amo yadto an first time na yagkita kita pero hangtod kuman amo da sa kaw gihapon wara halin gwapa pa rin!! an paghanap na signal na celfone naadi, amo da kita nan yanu nan pasayan.

kampanaryo_spy wrote:sugz,

kadumdum kaw na ikaw an yakanotar sa una na bisan wara pay signal, an mga taga tago magpanaw panaw sa lungsod na gahawid nan cellfone? hahahaha di gayud maapas an tagon-on, amo?

abb,

an dugukunon isab na lugar sa una yaon atbang nan bay ni haydee salas (her house, not her parents'). basta puno permi nan tao 24/7. huna-hunaa na impabutangan gud ni haydee nan taas na ingkudanan haw insugo ako niya na lang-on si mayor na pabutangan nan waiting shed kay sayunan kaw nan bisan udtong tutok may mga utaw sa gayud na manag text.

haw aya ko tipuna inin mga kataw-anan na istorya nan pagsugod nan cellfone technology ngadi sa tago, bagan isa ka libro.

K-Spy,

tumpok mo kay kahin pa ni Lola naadi kon kasakitan an ako kawsin mo laong sa yadto: "xxxxxxx ka tagon-oni mo gayod na bata kaw magarbo dili paperi !!!!!!"

Hain dapit an bay ni Haydee? I still see her with her shaggy haircut (circa 1974-75).

Hala na compayla na dayon inin mga cell stories para sa gitik-gitik series kay kataw-anan gayod maka palagpot nan stress.

BONSAL wrote:

kampanaryo_spy wrote:sugz,

kadumdum kaw na ikaw an yakanotar sa una na bisan wara pay signal, an mga taga tago magpanaw panaw sa lungsod na gahawid nan cellfone? hahahaha di gayud maapas an tagon-on, amo?

bwahahahaha! kriminali gayud an mga tagon-on sinankaw wara pay cellsite yanagbitbit na dayun nan celfon. naman siguro inin smart hastan globe yagka puliki dayun pagsangon nan cell site.

k-spy, yakahibawo ba kaw inin kataw-anan na istorya about celfon sa tago nan bag-o pa an sms technology. amo inin line na ya pur-ak ako nan abay katawa; "HELLO TEXT BA INI?"

hahahahahha..... Bon this definitely is a Hall of Famer

sughac wrote:K_spy,

hamoki nato sa funny experiences nan celfone sa tago but its only you that can put things together and make a prolific story out of it.by the way, claire told me this morning that she enjoyed browsing the website but she wondered why the balikotsa is missing in the tagon-on delicacies.

Abb,

amo yadto an first time na yagkita kita pero hangtod kuman amo da sa kaw gihapon wara halin gwapa pa rin!! an paghanap na signal na celfone naadi, amo da kita nan yanu nan pasayan.

Sug,

OO first time and you were the vice mayor.

Hahahaha so you think? Thanks but --- that's because we haven't seen each other since. Let me clue you in ... "she's" all knocked up, banged up and blind !!!!!!

Bah yaka experience kaw baya manu nan pasayan??? It was me, not you an iban-iban ma naklub nan pasayan ngadto sa may isla sa atbang nan subang dako. Ngadi ini sa may kambating.

And, this is NOT fiction, one time during summer vacation, Sister Amalia or Emelia (K-Spy she had similar physique as Sister Cristina. Sister Amalia bagan yadto) came with us gabaruto kami basta kay an iban na manunu inpangkorankoranan kay abi nila yaka kita silan ingkantada kay sin-o say mag palandong na maka kita nan madre iban manu na pasayan??? May pakapin pa kon hunas mangabot nan lungag nan alimango. Amo ini naadi pasayan and alimango were from the wild

Sus ko Sug, amo inin mga memories na laong pa dili kabayran ug salapi ....makes me truly glad and proud that I'm a PROMDI.

k_spy,

i spoke with" seattleillegalgirl " last night, arang kuno na katawa nan iya boss nan iya inpabasa nan ini na article.laong pa isab nan officemate ko na itom, where in the world is that? amoy paglang-on na dum na kamo waray iyo nan ini.


abb,

nanga sa isab yaon mga madre na magsukbot sa gayud nan yaon ila sotana o unoy ngan pa nan yaon gawas lang tingali kun maturog sila.pamunton agad yanu gani. pero yaoy gayud madre na kila ko na wara gayud magsukbot nan ila uniform sukad pa sa una, mother superior pa gayud siya, silingan da namo ngad-on sa tago ( purok tambis ) si mother titing montero. joke joke joke !!!

sughac wrote:k_spy,

i spoke with "seattleillegalgirl " last night, arang kuno na katawa nan iya boss nan iya inpabasa nan ini na article.laong pa isab nan officemate ko na itom, where in the world is that? amoy paglang-on na dum na kamo waray iyo nan ini.


abb,

nanga sa isab yaon mga madre na magsukbot sa gayud nan yaon ila sotana o unoy ngan pa nan yaon gawas lang tingali kun maturog sila.pamunton agad yanu gani. pero yaoy gayud madre na kila ko na wara gayud magsukbot nan ila uniform sukad pa sa una, mother superior pa gayud siya, silingan da namo ngad-on sa tago ( purok tambis ) si mother titing montero. joke joke joke !!!

Sug,

Amo seguro yaon na an ngan nan "sotana" nan mga madre HABIT kay force of habit sa gayod nila na amoy sukboton bisan iban manu nan pasayan

Daan kaw gayod ni Seatlelegalgirl paga bunyagan no siya na TNT (tago-nang-tago)

Inaay pa sin-o si Mother Titing Montero?

Alibangbang wrote:

sughac wrote:k_spy,

i spoke with "seattleillegalgirl " last night, arang kuno na katawa nan iya boss nan iya inpabasa nan ini na article.laong pa isab nan officemate ko na itom, where in the world is that? amoy paglang-on na dum na kamo waray iyo nan ini.


abb,

nanga sa isab yaon mga madre na magsukbot sa gayud nan yaon ila sotana o unoy ngan pa nan yaon gawas lang tingali kun maturog sila.pamunton agad yanu gani. pero yaoy gayud madre na kila ko na wara gayud magsukbot nan ila uniform sukad pa sa una, mother superior pa gayud siya, silingan da namo ngad-on sa tago ( purok tambis ) si mother titing montero. joke joke joke !!!

Sug,

Amo seguro yaon na an ngan nan "sotana" nan mga madre HABIT kay force of habit sa gayod nila na amoy sukboton bisan iban manu nan pasayan

Daan kaw gayod ni Seatlelegalgirl paga bunyagan no siya na TNT (tago-nang-tago)

Inaay pa sin-o si Mother Titing Montero?

abb,

an rason ko na in ilisan ko nan seattleillegalgirl an iya ngan kay grabehi gayud iton ,sa cebuano pa "baga an kabuang",mabibohi isab ka-istorya abo na kun yaon isab si sapa bagan riot lagi.so dili haw TNT an pasabot.

si mother titing montero is the uncle of the late frannie yu. manghud siya ni iya panyang na mananahi sa tago, asawa ni iyo ingge yu. aton kaw, kumpletohi gayud iton.an di ko lang ma explain, nanga sa in-nganlan siya na mother. mag-research kita , basin si K-spy hibawo bagan nan ini.i grew up with mother titing montero kay silingan sa namo ini. ako iton tatay tatayan o nanay nanayan kay at that time gasugod pa isab nan business si papa and mama. wara pay masugo , sila da duha an gabantay nan tindahan , so insalig ako nila kan Mother during the day.so kun may una na baby sitter bisan wara pay uso naadi , si Mother amoy una na baby sitter.