Skin Check

[otot_otot]

The color of my skin never was an issue to me. Having been raised in the Philippines, where most everybody is either a lighter or darker shade of brown, I was naive to the realities of racial discrimation.

Until recently. I migrated to the US in 1996 to work as a PT. With the nature of my profession, I was slightly sheltered against racism. Most of my patients were in need of my services. And are very appreciative of the attention and help I give them.

It lulled me to believe that I am one of them. That I am no different than the person next to me. And worse, assumed that THEY think of me as one of them! Worthy of nonchalantly assimilating into their neighborhoods!

Boy was I wrong! We recently put our house on the market, found a buyer and now await closing. So we have been house hunting. We have our hearts set on 3 towns. Found a house we loved and wrote up an offer.

Only to hear these words - "Where are they from?" even before looking at our offer. Our agent who is white was baffled by the question. However, replied we were from union, never alluding to the fact that we were from the Philippines. The realtor then refused to look at our offer until open house. Was it just an innocent question of what town we were from or was it really "where are they from?" And would it really matter what town we were from or "where we are from?" so long as the bank oks our loan? Is our dollar less green than Tom, Dick or Harry's? Or Puffy's for that matter.

Am I being race obsessed? Cause I have never been. I do not pull out the race card when I get slighted. I never rationalize anything that I don't get as "because I was asian." I am not one to demand special privileges on account of being a minority. Maybe I should. Maybe I should demand equal rights, equal opportunities. But then again, shouldn't that be expected anyway? Especially in this land of opportunities?

I still want to believe, the question was innocent. Not tainted with malice or discrimation. That It was just as harmless as asking what time it is. I want to believe that it had nothing to do with the color of our skin. That I am jumping the gun.

I want to believe that this country has evolved into MLK, Jr's dream. For the sake of my boys, who call this country theirs, who will live most of their lives being not just of different color but being rice-eyed, I pray this to be true.

[Alibangbang]

Hi Ots,

Unfortunately, sad it maybe discrimination is alive and well albeit very subtle. Yes, it hurt! But, we have to play the game and in order to play well we must know the players.

Don’t get discourage. Forgive me for being blunt but remember, it’s not us… it’s them. Their ignorance and narrow mindedness is what blind them to the beauty of ethnic diversity. Their loss.

If you feel uncomfortable maybe God is saying, move on this is not the one.

Keep looking somewhere is a perfect house waiting just for you and Fred and the kids. .

[Alone]

Hi! Otot! I had a similar experience. During my first day at work, my boss introduced me around and I notice that everybody was looking at me from head to foot. Gosh! I felt so embarrassed than welcome! Not to mention that it happened twice because our company is located in Florida and it has an office in New Jersey.
Good thing I was able to prove my worth and now I’m ok with everybody. But the process of proving my worth was one heck of a ride! I’ve experience people pulling me down and thinking I that I’m no good… Because I’m a Filipino,. Just imagine how devastating it was.

Discrimination is present all over the world; it arises if they think that they are better than you. But its nice to know that you are doing good in you job, Keep it up!

[kampanaryo_spy]

otot-otot,

as usual, your writing shines through. i like this line so much:"For the sake of my boys, who call this country theirs, who will live most of their lives being not just of different color but being rice-eyed, I pray this to be true."

discrimination's everywhere, and long before our time, it already existed. what do you think made cain murder his own brother, abel?

abb and alone are correct in saying just do your best. yes, they can never put a good person down.

please continue writing nice posts.

[Insomada]

Hi Otot-Otot,

What you've experienced is not new to me. Glad to say though that I always rise above the situation once my adversary starts to see my worth. Like Alone just continue to demonstrate the best in you. This would prove you are worthy to be in your adopted country. Once your detractors see you as an asset to their country they would then mellow down and take you into their fold.


I truly feel and understand your sentiment. However, I totally support Abb's stance on this. Playing the game is the most modest and convenient way to deal with the situation. Unfortunate case akin to yours is ubiquitous in a society where minority exists. Yes it hurts and don't you ever allow this to bruise your ego let alone sink in to prevent unpleasant effect. Stay unruffled! Comforting to know yours is not the worse case of racial bigotry. Accept that USA is their country and they have that antagonism of being "invaded" by us. A natural phenomenon but at least a very slight one. Embrace their imperfections as they do with us. Abb's is right, playing the game we must first determine who are we playing games with. The realtor is just a small element of society. As you said your patients were appreciative of your services. Trust then that they and the mainstream America don't share and uphold the realtor's view and that they sight multiculturalism in a different angle. Cultured and educated people don't condone the realtor's prejudicial view. Cheer-up darling! Continue to look around and you will be surprised that something so perfect is just waiting for you. I say this with utmost sincerity, good luck to you and your family for your house hunting.

[otot_otot]

Thank you for the words of wisdom... I must admit it stung at first, however, the hurt has passed. and I have moved on... I know more good Americans to appreciate the fact that there are more good people in the world. I continue to stand proud. Confident in myself and my abilities.

K Spy, thank you for the praise.

Abb, we are taking our time. As my mom would say, the Lord will give you what is meant for you.

[Alibangbang]

Ning,

Mana is right and you're right too. There's plenty of good people they--- outweigh the bad.

Ning, off topic....

Huot pa kaayo akong dughan....palihug ing-na sila si Manong ug Mana nga karon pa jud sila ning tawag palibalo nga si Tio Huro passed away. 4:00AM 4/27 sa Chong Hua.

My heart goes out to them labi na kang Nang Dione kay bag-o lang ug kalit sad namatay iyang bana (stroke) karon iyang tatay, yes, TATAY (he once told me he wanted his children to call him tatay not papa not daddy) na pud.

Not our will Lord but your will be done. Please give eternal rest unto our beloved tio, Herodotus P. Acebedo Lord.

Estorya nalang unya ta...komusta sa tanan.

[Insomada]

Thank you for the words of wisdom... I must admit it stung at first, however, the hurt has passed. and I have moved on... I know more good Americans to appreciate the fact that there are more good people in the world. I continue to stand proud. Confident in myself and my abilities.

K Spy, thank you for the praise.

Abb, we are taking our time. As my mom would say, the Lord will give you what is meant for you.

Good girl!!! That's the right thing to do- to move on.

Mana Insom


As an addendum here's some to reinforce my post above. Makatawa kaw gayod nan ini na experience ko Tot.



"I always rise above the situation once my adversary starts to notice my worth...."

I'll tell you a story. So many years back young, aggressive and perceptive I clang to the notion "never to be underestimated by the superior race", you know who I mean. Really a negative thought but sometimes pays off. "Classmate" (classmate ni Abbs) and I scouted for a computer and off we went to one of the city's biggest computer shops here. Wide array of different models were on display which made our task of choosing so difficult. To cut the story short we've finally settled for one. Brought the computer home, Classmate assembled and I began using it. After 2 days we figured out we wanted the other model. So off we went to the computer shop again to have the computer changed to the one we desired. Here in Aus, it is a condition of Purchase that any item purchased can be exchanged or even returned as long as receipt is still in the buyer's possession and the item is still in shape. We were very aware of this which made us so confident to have the computer be replaced. My hunch would have been correct when I say this. Sensing that we were of different colour, the salesman who attended to us when we first bought the computer had now become reluctant to entertain us. He was trying to avoid us. Given the circumstance I still managed to keep my composure intact though my heart was throbbing akin to a volcano which is about to emit volcanic ash and lava. I finally confronted the salesman. After a lengthy monologue I went further by saying "mate don't we deserve the kind of treatment you give to your other customers? Whey are you doing this to us, is it because of our colour or is it because of your damn ignorance? "If the reason is because of your ignorance then I suggest you go to uni (short here for university) and get a damn degree to widen your horizon." The salesman stared at me wickedly. I then said "can I please talk to your Manager? Hah! what a good timing, the Manager heard me who had just come out from his room. I then talked to the Manager... blah, blah, blah and further said "I didn't like the way your salesman treat us. It's so unfair! THE RESULT, not only the Manager changed our computer but we were given a FREE printer as well! What a bonus!

Playing a game indeed paid off in this situation.



Another one: This was in Philippines. See even in our very own backyard prejudice does exist, sometimes even worse.

I was in my first year of employment at DAR, Central Office, Manila. It didn't take me a hard time to assimilate with people coming from different geographical backgrounds for I had been used to this when I was in college and stayed in the dormitory during my college days. At DAR there was this Tagalog guy who was fond of teasing me knowing I was a Bisaya. Sometimes in front of people he would say "Bisaya man gid". He used to visit me at my desk and had me taya para sa ending nan basketball. His name was Romy. One time Romy harassed me again with his several annoying jokes. Can't take it any longer and I said, "You Romy "Tagalog na puti an itlog". The mere mention of my joke got him upset and he went away. I just ignored him. Next time he would come to my office he wouldn't let me taya the ending anymore. One time he came to have my officemates put taya again and as he approached the door he saw me standing on his way and mumbled words I didn't quite understand. " Anong sinasabi mo", I demanded. He then began barking at me accusing me for calling him having puti na itlog. Then I said, " anong bang nangyayari sa 'yo….ka lalaki mong tao pumapatol ka sa babae….ako ba'y gusto mong subukan?....putragis ka, ikaw ang parating nang iimbyerna sa akin pero hindi lang kita pinapansin. "Anong bang gusto mo makita ang babaeng may bayag!" Pardon my language but that what I exactly said to scare him. "Babae nga ako pero ipakita ko sa iyo na may bayag ako. Sigi sabihin mo anong klasing labanan ang gusto mo at hindi kita uurongan". Bisan hadloki na gayod ako. "Gusto mo palalakihin ko yang t'yan mo at makita mo rin kung paano magalit ang bisaya. Maybe he was thinking I was a mangkukulam. After I finished my words Romy then went back straight to his office leaving my officemates unable to put taya. Next thing, he called on the phone and apologized. My officemates demanded that he should come down to our office and do it personally. He did, and gave me a huge huge hug and all my officemates made a resounding applause. Yakatawa dakan gayod ako nan ako taraw pang gulpi de gulat! Da yakatilaw lagi siya sa bisaya! Pag estorya sa ako mga siblings yangatawa dakan kami. Honestly from then on we became really good friends.


Mag iisog isgogan taraw ako para dili tamayon nan dili nato kabalhibo. And that was my way of playing my game and it worked. Ha,ha,ha.