The wife came home early and found her husband in
their bedroom making love to a very attractive young
woman. And was somewhat upset.
"You are a disrespectful pig!" she cried. "How dare
you do this to me a faithful wife, the mother of your
children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right
away!"
And Paddy (for it was he) replied "Hang on just a
minute luv, so at least I can tell you what
happened."
"Fine, go ahead", she sobbed, "but they'll be the last
words you'll say to me!"
And Paddy began -- "Well, I was getting into the car
to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a
lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that
I took pity on her and let her into the car I noticed
that she was very thin, not well dressed and very
dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three
days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and
warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night,
the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid
you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in
moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower
and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes
were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer
jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use
because you say they are too tight. I also gave her
the underwear that was your anniversary present, which
you don't use because I don't have good taste. I
found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas
that you don't use just to annoy her and I also
donated those boots you bought at the expensive
boutique and don't use because someone at work has a
pair the same..."
Here Paddy took a quick breath and continued, "She was
so grateful for my understanding and help and as I
walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in
her eyes and said,
"Please...do you have anything else that your wife
doesn't use?"
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